To the woman dating my husband,
He's so perfect, isn't he? You think you are the luckiest woman in the world for a guy like him to have picked you. He makes you feel amazing. He compliments you all the time and tells you how beautiful and sexy you are. He goes out of his way to help you. You've never met someone as selfess and accommodating as he is. He isn't just helpful, he's almost heroic. He shows up to save the day when you have a flat tire or a broken pipe. He offers to watch your kid or take care of your housework when you're sick. No man has ever done so much for you before.
He's so romantic. He's full of sweet gestures, both big and small. He brings your favorite treat to work. He leaves love notes on your desk. He shows up unexpectedly with some small gift that shows how much he's been thinking of you. He texts you whenever you're apart, making sure you know he's missing you. He's talking about the future, making travel plans with you, offering to give you every experience you've ever dreamed of but have never actually had. He is sweeping you off your feet.
He's protective of you. He defends you against anyone who would threaten or harm you, your family, or your job. You've never felt so safe with anyone.
He seems a little bashful at times, almost a bit self-depricating, as he verbalizes that he doesn't understand how he got lucky enough to find you and for you to actually want to be with him. He's told you all about how long he's had feelings for you, how he didn't act on them at first because he thought it was hopeless; after all, how could someone as wonderful as you want a normal guy like him? You just don't understand how this kind, sensitive, caring, protective, amazing man could possibly not see how wonderful he is. You feel like it's you who doesn't deserve him.
You're falling in love, and it feels so good. You've never been so genuinely happy before, not even with past boyfriends or husbands. Every day is so exciting. Even though you haven't been together for long, you really think This Is It. He is The One.
I know how this feels. I experienced this, too. Every single thing he's doing for you, every romantic gesture, every love note, every gift, he's already shared all of them with me. He also did all of this with Other Woman #2. She and I had quite a few conversations about their relationship, and it was like he was just repeating our history with her.
Wait, you didn't think you were the first one he cheated on me with, did you? You're Other Woman #4. (Well, I actually am not sure how many other women there were before you, but I know there were at least three.)
He has a routine, a plan he implements to lure women in. It's called love-bombing. He makes you fall in love with him so deeply and quickly. He makes you believe he is the perfect man. He does this to ensure your loyalty to him. He does this to make you crave the perfect man, even when he isn't acting so perfect. If you love him and are addicted to him, then he can use you, do whatever he wants to do to you or with you, without ever having to worry that you will leave him.
Here's what you don't know: The man you are falling for doesn't exist. This guy he's pretending to be right now is just a figment of his imagination, dreamt up to make you love him. The real person underneath is nothing like the man you're dating now. He's selfish, cowardly, manipulating, and controlling. He lies. He cheats. He is probably a sex addict and definitely a narcissist. I know you don't believe me right now. I mean, how could any of this be true? I'm just his crazy ex, right?
If that's true, and I'm just vengeful and vindictive and trying to ruin both of your lives, then consider this: How did I describe your relationship, his actions, and your feelings so accurately?
Don't worry; you will see the truth one day. You will find out that I'm not crazy. You will revisit this beginning of your relationship and wonder what the hell happened to the man you fell in love with. You will eventually figure out who he really is. For your sake, I hope it doesn't take you six years, like it did for me. I hope you don't waste years of your life, your money, your happiness, and your peace of mind on him. I hope you don't ignore all the red flags. I hope you are able to find your inner sense of logic and reason even with all the amorous feelings bombarding you. If I could go back in time, this is the advice I would give myself, so this is the advice I give to you: If it seems to good to be true, then it probably is.
From,
His wife
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