I gave birth last week via a planned C-section. Today's post is for all the soon-to-be mammas who are wondering what a C-section is like. Or, if you've followed my journey, you can read on to learn about my birth experience without Wubsand.
Why choose a planned C-section?
I chose a planned C-section to make my life easier. As a single mom, I needed to plan for someone to watch my son, someone to watch my dog, and someone to take me to the hospital. While I knew there was a chance I would go into labor before my scheduled delivery date, and I still had to make backup plans B and C in case that happened, I felt better knowing that there was a dedicated plan in place with a specific delivery date and time.
Another reason I chose a second C-section, as opposed to a vaginal delivery, was because I did not want to go to childbirth classes by myself. Since Wusband had left and had not been a part of the pregnacy, I would not have the baby's father to go to classes with me. And everyone I am emotionally close enough to ask to be my birth partner lives too physically far away to attend weekly classes with me. So again, a C-section was just easier.
Finally, I chose the C-section because of a condition that led to an emergency C-section with my first child. I had a rare condition called HELLP Syndrome, which stands for High blood pressure, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelets. Basically, my blood pressure was so high, the doctors were afraid I would seize, but my platelets were so low that if I fell and got a bruise, I would have bled to death internally. And my liver was doing something funky during this time, too. A planned C-Section theoretically could be performed before this syndrome had a chance to reappear with pregnancy #2.
What is the C-section preparation process like?
To be honest, preparing for the C-section was worse than the actual procedure. I chose my mom to be my delivery support person. (Who else do you choose when your husband walks out and ignores your existence and your pregnancy?) We arrived at the hospital at the lovely hour of 5:30 in the morning. The actual procedure was scheduled for two hours after my arrival at the hospital, but it didn't feel like it took that long. The first part of the preparation was easy. The hospital staff took some blood, checked my vital signs, and reviewed the procedure with me. I put on a hospital gown and then waited. Nurses, doctors, and the nurse anesthetist came in and out; I signed some papers; and I was surprisingly calm. It wasn't until it was time to head to the operating room that I began to feel very nervous.
My mom wasn't allowed in the OR until I was all prepped and ready. I would have preferred she be there for the prep, too, but there were several hospital staff members in the room, so I wasn't alone. The nurse anesthetist, nurses, and other staff members in the room were all very kind and supportive. The nurse anesthetist was wonderful and explained everything before he did it and while it was happening, so I wasn't surprised by anything.
I sat on the operating table while the nurse anesthetist did his job. A nurse was standing right in front of me with her hands on my thighs. I couldn't understand the reason for this at first, other than that maybe she was afraid that my uncoordinated and front-heavy pregnant body might fall off the table. But then the nurse anesthetist gave me a shot of local anesthesia. He told me it would burn, and the nurse grabbed my hands and told me to squeeze if I needed to. And I did need to. That shot hurt more than I remember any other shot hurting in my life. The nurse anesthetist said it would feel like a shot in your mouth at the dentist's office before you have a cavity filled. Let me tell you, it did not feel like a shot at the dentist. That shot is a sharp pain from the needle in your mouth. This shot was less about being pricked with a needle and more like having someone inject battery acid into your skin. He didn't lie when he said it would burn. But thankfully, everything went numb after a few seconds, and then I didn't feel anything else.
Next came the spinal epidural. I guess the purpose of the first shot is so you don't feel the second needle going deep into your spine. I could feel a lot of weird pressure in my back, but nothing hurt. I immediately felt an intense warmth spread out from my back and into my chest and lower body. Then the nurse injected some duramorph into my spine. (This is morphine that lasts 24 hours. It is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I had virtually no pain for the first 24 hours after my surgery.) My legs got heavy. The nurses moved me on the table so I was lying on my back with my arms out at my sides. While I losing all sensation from my chest down, the drape was placed in front of me, and my abdomen was scrubbed.
I just lied there, staring up at the surgical lights (these giant round dishes filled with light bulbs that kind of look like UFOs) and waited. This was the worst part for me. It suddenly hit me that I was about to have a baby and that Wusband wasn't there to watch his child be brought into this world. The man whom I had loved so deeply and with every fiber of my being had left me to deliver his child without him. The man who had promised to love and protect me for the rest of our lives probably didn't even know that I was lying on an operating table at that moment. I felt more abandoned in that moment than I had felt since he moved out. Here I was, about to experience the amazing miracle of childbirth, lying in an operating room, crying over a man who clearly stopped caring about me months ago and who never cared about this child who was about to be born.
What is the C-section like?
I have to say that the actual C-section is really not that bad. I was alseep for my first one, so I was scared about being awake for this one. There was something about knowing I was cut open while I was awake that completely freaked me out. However, now that I was living through this, that thought actually never crossed my mind.
My mom came in, sat next to me, and held my hand. The nurse anesthetist stood on my other side and looked over the drape, telling me bits and pieces of what was happening. No one narrated the procedure or anything, but he informed me that the doctor was still getting to baby or that it was almost time for the baby to come out. My mom kept peeking over the drape to see what was going on. I couldn't really feel much during the whole procedure. I had read online that I would feel a lot of pressure, but it was really more like someone had placed a huge pillow on my stomach and was pressing down on the pillow. There was no pain, and it really was not nearly at all as scary as I had feared.
Then I heard the doctor say, "It's baby time," and a nurse say, "Oh, what a big boy," and another nurse say, "Look at those bright eyes." The drape was lowered to reveal a clear plastic drape so the doctor could hold the baby up to me. And there he was, eyes wide open, just taking in the world. I started crying again (this time out of love and awe and not sadness). The drape went back up, and the baby was taken to the warming table to be cleaned up and checked out. My mom was allowed to go watch the baby getting taken care of, so I lied on the table and listened to the nurses talk. The nurse anesthetist wiped away my tears.
My mom brought the baby over to me, all swaddled up, and placed him in my arms. This was a great distraction while I was sewed up and cleaned up after my surgery. Pretty soon, it was all over, and I was being wheeled back to my room.
Now what?
After two days in the hospital - Yes, that's all they give you after a C-section now. Crazy, right? - we headed home. Baby and I are healthy. In fact, he's a bit like Mary Poppins, "perfectly perfect in every way." I'm a little sore from the surgery, but the pain is easily managed with over-the-counter Ibuprofren and acetaminophen, and I feel better every day. It is a bit hard to get out of bed (just like being pregnant), and of course, I'm not getting a ton of sleep (although baby sure is... during the day). We are slowly adjusting to a new routine, sharing lots of snuggles, and enjoying all of those amazing first experiences. And even though Wusband is missing all of this, there is so much love in this household that I am sure this child will never feel like he is missing out.
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