My life has changed so much over the past nine months. I've had a baby, gotten divorced, and moved. I've continued to grow and find new ways to love myself. I've continued to reconnect with friends I feared I had lost along the way. And I've started dating. (Insert dramatic drumroll or impending boom of thunder here. It's a scary world out there, folks.)
I haven't been writing or been active on social media recently because I'm busy. I work, I raise one kid by myself 80% of the time, and I raise the other one on my own 100% of the time. Some days I don't get a second to myself until 9:30 at night, when both kids are in bed and the house is finally quiet. Some days I crash as soon as I say good night to my oldest son. Add in the need for adult interaction and taking as much time as I can to have a social life, and you end up with very little time left over to do things like catch up on Facebook or write a blog post.
When I started this blog, the focus was 100% on my journey through recovery from abuse and infidelity that ultimately led to a very long, very expensive, and incredibly nasty divorce. As I've written in earlier posts, I needed this blog as a way to process my emotions and connect with other people who had unfortunately found themselves in positions similar to the one I found myself in a year and a half ago: pregnant, facing the terrifying reality of raising a child alone, and experiencing the brutal whiplash of coming out of the fog of years of emotional and psychological abuse. This blog was my lifeline.
But I always hoped it would turn into something else. I knew I wouldn't be reeling from abandonment and trauma forever. That's why I titled this blog, "Single Mom Again." That title captured everything that was happening in my life at the time, but also allowed for this blog to be about more than my recovery. I expect as time goes on that I will want to share things about parenting, about motherhood, about being a single, middle-aged woman. I'm sure I will have bad days and will continue to use this platform as a form of therapy, and I'm sure I will inevitably write about X.
But that trauma doesn't consume my life anymore. My life has evolved, I've evolved, and there is so much more to me now than the woman who was grasping at any straw in an attempt to stay afloat. So if you're a friend who has read all of my posts, who has felt a sense of solidarity as you've lived through your own recovery journey along with me, and you notice that new posts are very different, well, that's because I'm very different now. And I'd love for you all to get to know this new me.
So stay tuned for updates on what I'm doing with my life these days. I'm hoping to find time to write some posts about my hilarious adventures into online dating. I'm hoping to share the highlights of my little one's first nine months on this earth (and then more as he continues to grow up). And as always, I will be happy to share this new journey with you, and I will be grateful for your companionship along the way.
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